Liebster Awardiness

Ah, the Liebster Award. I’d seen this thing floating around for a while and ignored it when I suddenly found myself nominated by thedianadiaries. If you’re unaware of what it is, you’re supposed to answer 10-11 questions, and then nominate a handful of other blogs with fewer than 200-3000 followers to answer your own questions and pass the award on. I ruminated over whether to pass it on and who to nominate if so when I got nominated again by A.D. Martin. That’ll teach me to procrastinate. While I don’t love the whole chainletteriness of it, I do like the communal aspect where people share blogs that don’t have a lot of followers. I have another one of these in the works for the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award, so dear followers, prepare to be nominated.

I don’t know by what means Diana selected my blog. I was going to go by Mr. Martin’s lead and nominate the people who’ve most recently commented on my blog and haven’t yet been Liebsterized. All of my last commenters have been Liebsterized though, so I’m using criteria so arbitrary that I’m not even aware of it myself.

1. What are three words you would use to describe yourself?
“Nerdy Pieful Asian.” Pieful is totally a word.

2. Would you rather be a mermaid or a unicorn?
Unicorn. What’s a mermaid going to stab people with? Her seashell bra?

3. What was your favorite movie/book as a kid?
This is like asking me “What’s your favorite blood cell?” I’m going to cheat and name several.
Movies: The Princess Bride, The Neverending Story, The Dark Crystal, any Muppet movie, Star Wars (episodes IV, V, and VI), Karate Kid (I & II)
Books: Anything by George Selden or Beverly Cleary, the Bunnicula books, The People of Pineapple Place, The Babysitters Club series, Watership Down

4. If you could learn a new language, which one would it be?
ASL. I took Latin for several years and a small smattering of French when I was young, and I don’t really find Germanic or Romance languages all that difficult. I’m fluent in Mandarin Chinese, so the other Chinese dialects wouldn’t be terribly difficult to pick up if I had the inclination. But ASL is something else entirely, and so many of my friends are fluent. It would be handy to pick it up. No pun intended.

5. Sun or Rain?
Sun. Ever read or seen All Summer in a Day? It is my nightmare.

6. What is your zodiac sign? And do you really believe in horoscopes?
Taurus and Snake. No.

7. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Is it possible to be both? If they’re mutually exclusive, let’s go with morning person.

8. What do you enjoy the most, watching movies or reading books?
Argh. Reading books, probably. But again, who says they have to be mutually exclusive?

9. What are three things in your life that you can’t live without?
Eating, sleeping, and pooping.
Unless you mean in a hyperbolic sense, in which case: my kids, books, and music.

10. Would you rather be alone or with someone who you don’t really love?
Alone, easily.

11. What is/are, according to you, the most annoying personality traits?
The inability to listen
The inability to acknowledge and accept other points of view
Thinking that one is super smart and dressing simplistic thoughts up with LOTS OF WORDS
Talking about oneself only, or bringing every topic around to oneself

12. Did you ever fall in the toilet?
Fall, no. Got pushed, yes.

13. What’s your favorite television series?
Currently on, or ever? Currently on, probably Game of Thrones. Ever? Argggh. Too many to choose from. Let’s go with Pushing Daisies.

14. Which country (and which region therein) would you like to visit?
Italy, the Tuscany region. It’s all about the food.

15. What’s your favorite song?
SERIOUSLY? Not even a genre from which to pick?! I choose Abba Songs as my genre, and Take A Chance On Me (that’s all I ask of you honey!)

16. Have you ever kicked a person in the crotch?
No, but I have been sorely tempted.

17. Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
Yes. I made a mess of myself.

18. What’s your favorite type of Italian pasta?
Fusilli. It’s so twisty.

19. What do you think of writers’ conferences?
I’m not a writer, so I guess I’m indifferent. Do YOU like writers’ conferences? If you like them, I like them.

20. What’s your favorite out of these three films: The Hunger Games, Divergent,The Legend of Bagger Vance?
I haven’t seen any of them, but I suspect if I had I’d like The Hunger Games best on account of my enormous JLaw boner.

21. Who is your favorite superhero?

HAHAHA, no not really.

This is tough too. I like my superheroes to be tortured and imperfect, and capable of making bad choices. But I also dislike super-strength as a superpower because it seems too easy, unless the manner in which they acquire strength is more nuanced than “has big muscles” or “comes from another planet.” Let’s go with Wolverine. Because he’s Canadian, as an added bonus.

I hereby nominate:

MrPolly – Guaranteed to be unliebsterized by virtue of being relatively new to WordPress, but hates internet bandwagons. May or may not reply due to this hatred, but he’s very funny, so you should read his blog even if he doesn’t Liebsterate.

Afternoon of Sundries – She’s already a Very Inspiring Blogger, but critically, she has a ridiculously cute baby. Go ogle and appreciate her parenting and teaching.

BlueCrabMartini – Go because she’s from Maryland therefore awesome. Stay because her food looks delicious.

Live Love and Eat – I am going to move to the Philippines. I am going to move in with this blogger and I am going to eat her food. She will barely notice because I will clean up after myself.

Life Goes on After a Breakup – She has a crazy interesting story. No spoilers though, so go read for yourself.

Your questions, dear victims:
1. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done that you’re willing to record on the internet for all time?
2. If you had to cut off an appendage, what appendage would you choose and why?
3. You must go through life only using one writing implement and no other, on pain of death. You choose….?
4. Cutting a cupcake in half and placing the bottom half on top of the top half to make a cupcake sandwich is a _________ idea.
5. Would your internet stalking skills terrify others, or possibly yourself?
6. Have you done online dating, and do you regret it for all time?
7. What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever stepped in?
8. What’s your special talent? (e.g., mine are finding ticks on cats and killing flying insects with my bare hands)
9. What is the worst book you’ve ever read?
10. If you could witness a natural disaster with the guarantee that no lives would be lost, what would you want to see?
11. What kind of animal is Goofy? Include analysis if time permits.

There you go. If you pass this on, I have but one request: please remember that it’s “fewer” than N followers, not “less”. That shit is making me crazy.


Where Suzie is Terribly Awesome

As if the top 10 lists weren’t fun enough, Suzie is hosting a great little community project that doesn’t involve me having to choose individual people to give awards to. Feel free to join along, but if you do, please link back to Suzie’s original post!

1. How did you create the title for your blog?
There’s a more detailed answered here, but the short of it is that I love books, and I love pie, and I love terrible puns.

2. What’s the one bit of blogging advice you would give to new bloggers?
Don’t compare yourself to other blogs and how much traffic or followers or whatever they’re getting. Write like you, and write because you like it, not because you want to generate the numbers. Then it seems more of a job than something you’re doing for fun.

3. What is the strangest experience you’ve ever had?
Hmmm, probably a couple weeks ago when I tried to have a reasonable discussion with a sexist man dressed up as a ‘gentleman’, only to be faced with a massive word count claiming to be logical while being completely devoid of perspective or logic. I gave up once the words “legitimately raped” were uttered.

edit: I took this to mean in the blogging world. If we’re talking about overall, probably the time I was kidnapped, robbed, molested, tied up, and left for dead by 4 Guatemalans in the jungle in Belize on the first full day of my honeymoon. I wanted to go to DisneyWorld.

4. What is the best thing that anybody has ever said to you?
2 months into blogging, I received a really sweet email from Dr. Mortimer Schnub saying that I had a very good blog, and that I turn a phrase like a modern day Ann Bates, whom I might have to look up because she might be before my time (Google has turned up nothing for me, even with varied spellings of the name). He said to keep on trucking, and that he looked forward to my next post. It came at a good time because I was starting to doubt the longevity of this blog. Granted, it’s only been 5 months now, but I think I’ve developed some non-pie legs!

edit: Again, I took this to mean in the blogging world. Overall, probably the day my daughter said, “You’re the best cooking mom EVER.”

5. When presented with a time machine, which one place and time would you visit?
Assuming I can only observe and not influence, lest I butterfly effect everything? Probably the end of the Cretaceous period, JUST before the extinction event. I want to know what happened!

6. If you had to pick a new first name, what would you choose?
I don’t think I would, honestly. I may have shared my name with a crapton of other girls born in the 70’s and 80’s (I distinctly remember 6 Jennifers in my 8th grade science class), but my first and last name formed such a significant part of my identity. Plus my legal first name is my Chinese name, which assholes in elementary and middle school made fun of. It taught me a valuable lesson about what kind of people to surround myself with and what kind of people to disassociate from. I’ve kept many of those faithful friends to this day and barely think about the awful people with their terrible ugly hair.

Now, if I were to have another girl baby, I’d probably name her Eleanor.

7. If you were a B Movie, what would it be called?
Pietanium 3000: Jenny, Queen of the Nerds